Tag Archives: homophobia and/or hatecrime

An Army of Lovers Cannot Loose II

Update:

Stacey Blahnik Lee, a transwoman from Philadelphia was found by her boyfriend on Monday, murdered in her apartment. Feministing reports how bad the news coverage was phrased.

The Stonewall riot some 41 years ago kickstarted the gay-rights movement and one of those worthy of remembering is Raymond Castro, who died from stomach cancer recently. During the Stonewall riots;

Castro pushed against the patrol wagon with both feet and knocked the two officers to the ground. He was detained but later released without charge.

When we are speaking of heroes, read this about a school-kid who got his head smashed against the ground 4 times and who is now picketing outside his school to raise awareness.

And last update on this post, but not least; Dan Savage is angry.

I wish I did not have to write these posts. I really wish I did not have to talk about the hate against people who love each other. Serbian Riot Police clashed on Sunday with far-right homophobes and haters that thought they had any business of rejecting the human rights of LGBTQI-people.

This was not an isolated incident.  Not at all. This is not a specific case of severe homophobia that one can only find in Serbia.  And it is also not just one of those public manifestations of homophobia, because there can’t be any distinction here between what is personal and political. Homophobia will always be political, and it can hit you wherever you are.

But I keep going back to these pictures. Pictures of people participating in a Pride celebration that previous years would have not taken place. These gorgeous queers are out and  proud and loud and are fighting, not with the police but for eachother and through activism try to change the world that they live in.

And then there is all of these teenage suicides in the U.S, queers that has been bullied so badly that they have taken their own life.  I cry when I think about all of this. And this youtube-clip is one of the strongest I ever seen.

The It Gets Better project is brilliant and beautiful. And I’m sorry, but I really don’t know what to say right now. Just take some time to watch some of the videos. And don’t forget that you have the right to be angry, you have the right to cry, you have the fucking right to love whom ever you wish to love, and that you are not alone. You are not alone because there is so many people, we are an army of lovers, and an army of lovers cannot loose.

To all LGBTQI sisters, brothers and all of those who wish to be neither- I love you.


Congratulations to Norway and some other important matters

First of all:

About a year ago, perves in Sweden were not to be considered sick anymore.
Now, it is Norways turn:

The Norwegian Directorate of Health has decided that certain diagnostic codes are now invalid in Norway, thus changing the Norwegian version of the international diagnoses register. (ICD-10)
The following diagnoses are taken out: fetishism, fetishistic transvestism, sadomasochism, multiple disorders of sexual preference, and transvestism.
- In our opinion there is no basis, neither in today’s societal norms nor in professional health thinking, to classify these diagnostic groups as disease, says head of the Health Directorate Bjorn-Inge Larsen. By excluding the use of these codes in Norway the Directorate wishes to contribute to the weakening of a general opinion that certain sexual preferences, sexual identities and gender expressions may be seen as states of illness.

The really interesting article can be found here

Congratulations Norway! The activism has given result, and joined Denmark and Sweden as being countries where you can be a healthy perv.

For those of you who need more proof of how stupidity reigns the world with weird methods, read this excellent wallraff article on how to ‘cure’ gay men. Amongst many things that will make you gay is your (neglecting or too neglecting) parents, Freemasons, sexual abuse or just in general not being in touch with oneself. I’m just telling you, if you had happened to have missed that.
To read more about exgay movement, Ex-gay watch and Beyond Ex-gay is a good place to start.
I also wrote a bit about the possibilities of a cross-over between ex-gay and ex-bdsm and how it could be manifested. That you can read about here.

One writer that always makes me feel something is Penny Red. She writes so eloquently and passionately about politics, feminism and a whole lot more that I go all mushy and sometimes teary-eyed. Writers like her are needed, voices like hers are needed.
Three of her latest pieces resonated strongly within me, one on the misogyny and racism hidden in the debate over the veil , one about trans-activism and also, very appropriately slamming the  Comment is Free-article by Simon Jenkins who is ‘defending‘ the pope (cause that ex-nazi, priest-peadophilia cover-upper needs sooooooo much defending…) in this excellent post ‘Does Simon Jenkins shit in the woods?’

That’s all for now folks.


Ex-gay? Ex-dominant? Ex-switch?

You heard of the exgay movement? About the ex-sm movement? Take a look at this, but be warned, it is very painful.

This is slightly different than you might see in general from an ex-gay movement. This is a man who by his own choice wishes to stop being a pro-dom.  It is a story of a man who has been abused from the early start of his life, from bullying to living with his father who, according to him, had ‘deviant desires’, using dogs as sexual instruments on women, involving his son in pornographic movies, the son became a ‘lap dog’. The dad took his own life, and  the rest of this man’s story is one of abuse (rape, abuse from people he trusted, violence, etc). As the documentary goes on, it becomes clear for me as a viewer that this is exploitative documentary.

At one point Rick says, after some type of fisting session that involves removing feces from the bottom of the submissive, ‘This is all a part of the human cycle, don’t judge me’.
And I kinda don’t want to judge him. His past life catch up with him, and the grim reality of lonelyness is a harsh one. The harshest. And Rick is honest.  The documentary is called ‘Me and my slaves’ but it should be called ‘Me and my pain’. It is hard to watch a human being in pain.
This is him, trying to perform his own absolution saving himself. The christian concept of absolution,attracts to those who are in so much pain, to those who cannot see any way out of a life they consider as doomed.

“I’ve lost myself…I’ve given it up, there is nothing there that I can do.”
Rick

And for that, I will not go through the whole documentary here with you. There is so much to say about this man. But I’m already exploiting him enough.

In the movie Bruno, with Sasha Baron Cohen as the austrian fashionista/reporter/celebrity, there is a specific favorite part of mine He reaches a decision to become straight, because all of the other male celebrities in the U.S are straight.  So he finds someone who can make him straight.  This is in no way on the same levels of Rick, in terms of despair, but it still says a lot about those people who seek out or get forced in to the ex-gay movement. The despair felt, because ones sexual and emotional level is not on the same as the normative society’s. A  society that can punish you, shun you, kill you, ignore your very existence. What then does that mean, this whole regiment of becoming straight? By being around men and being socialised into becoming a straight man, not thinking about men in a sexual sense, the gay or bisexual man is supposed to become liberated from what is seen as a troublesome practice and instead find a woman to marry.Being gay according to the ex-gay movement is something that you choose to do, it’s a choice in terms of sexual practice, and this practice is wrong.  The impure thoughts of a broken individual that is becoming healed through therapy. For this movement, they do seem to have very little appreciation of  any possible emotional links to a person of the same sex, and if there is, they are taught and can be re-wired.
So here we are then. Bruno is going to be rewired. Or is he?

Can we apply the same concept to BDSMers? That we ‘are’ sadomasochists, that our bodies inhabit the lust as a essence and there is nothing more? What would that stance actually mean in terms of fighting for BDSM-rights, or queer rights? These are important questions. Is BDSM something that we are or something that we do? I can’t answer that for you, but this is where I am coming from.
My personal stance is that I am a queer person.  With certain tastes of sexual practices. I can’t define my self as a submissive or as a bottom.  Those are not a direct, linked part to my identity.  It’s something I do.  But also, by doing, I can reclaim it, bit by bit, becoming more, going further in to myself and getting to know parts of me. Parts that are not constant, but ever so changing. Parts that I maybe have not been able to reach.

I think I might be looking for something. I don’t know really what, and if there is ever a final point in which I can rest, or if I even want there to be one, but in the meantime, I can rest in those discoveries I’ve done about myself today, in this minute. It is not about being essential. It is about exploration and appropriation of feelings, practices and structures.

 

Here is a clip of one of the ways in which Bruno is supposed to become straight.

I know, I know, the mockery of the military is brilliant on so many levels but there is one more reason why I’m posting this. Because the ex-gay movement exist and it needs to be meet and challenged for what it is.

I don’t want to pass judgement on those who seek council in the hands on the ex-gay movement. We live in a world that is homophobic, sexist, racist, misogynist, etc, and it can be so fucking lonely. What I will pass judgement on is those who exploit the fears that they themselves manage to maintain.
They are, in short:

Utter Fucktards.


I’ve been bad

 

Daddy, I’ve been so bad. Not updating the blog…

No, not really. I’m just saying that all those updates I’m planning takes a bit more time than I thought. It’s worth waiting for, because we are going to be speaking about needles. We are going to look at a radical feminists argument against BDSM and pick it into pieces. And furthermore, in hopefully a not too distant future, more interviews with perverts.

So, what then?

First of all: did you know that keeping a slave makes you stay healthy?
Another site that is a bit better on keeping up to date is Island of Pain.
They report on the Sharon Warner Case, which is one of those brilliant, fucked up things that makes me sad, mad and frustrated.  I’m not going to try to put it better than it is already written:

Chavez, on the other hand, as the situation is described by Warner, seems to have mixed work ethics and lifestyle behaviour beyond what could be seen acceptable, even within the BDSM community. My opinion is that you are definitely on thin ice when you involve your graduate students in your lifestyle behaviour – Not moral reasons, but because certain dependencies issues are created, as the lines between work and lifestyle are blurred.

So, yeah, what is wrong with people who can’t see the power dynamics at play here?  Go ahead and be as kinky as you want, but let’s dwell for one second on consent. Consent, power and trust.  Thinking about those terms, that we are often playing with and then just not realising the implications of involving your students is just plain stupid. No one is judged yet, but I don’t care and have a really hard time feeling sorry for Chavez. Furthermore, as it’s said in the comments, this is not about kink. It could be, but it’s not about kink-rights.

Another stupidity is Julie Bindel’s latest rant on how horrible the trans-people are, or rather, the mutilation and distortion of gender that they portray; as well as how loud and threatening they are.  I can’t feel sorry for her. At all. She has been advocating many a important issues, but not understanding that her stance on transgendered people is so insensitive and out of touch is deserving of the award ‘Nutter of the week’.

Moving on to something completley else; the fact that we know nothing or very little about HPV (human papilloma virus). Poundcake explains it very clearly and it is indeed important to keep updated about all of these things. I want to stay healthy and do regular check-ups about every half year. It feels like a  total overhaul, like beeing a car that goes in on service. And even though I am careful it is always nervous doing the three-minute HIV test.

Tomorrow, at Trafalgar Square there will be a candle light vigil for Ian Baynham, who died after an attack in the end of september.
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2009/10/16/vigil-planned-for-gay-man-murdered-in-trafalgar-square/#
There will also be a march against homophobia in Liverpool, sometime in the end of November, following after recent homophobic attacks.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=162737774775&ref=mf

And a very hardhitting blog-entry on how the case is still not won in regards to LGBTQI-rights can be found here.


No Go Homophobia

A nice afternoon tea in a a clean suburb of London. I am actuallly outside zone 6 for real. Does not happen very often. Anyway, I’m meeting with relatives and we are pretty much done with the sandwiches as well as the cakes and the tea. The discussions has been many and I find myself in a situation where everyone around me is so safe in their middle-classness that they dare to claim that racism, structures and homophobia does not exist. Or, correction it does not exist in the U.K,. Only in places where there is Muslims (who, btw, just FYI, ‘are wanting to take over the world and destroy the way we live’, according to them). And, yeah, all of them know of both gay men and muslims, some of their best friends are muslims, so apparently that is a valid for them to act like morons.

I’m quite frustrated at this moment, because none of my points are going through, hitting in thin air, speaking to, well, a wall. My mother sits next to me and have a hard time keeping up because of language-difficulties (she is not english)

And then, we start to talk about my future. What I want to do, work with, who I want to be. I am open with whom I am, a non-straight queer-identified individual. I try to be as open as I can. And I am also fairly open with what I want to do with my life, aka working sexual rights/health rights. Immediatley, the conversation turns onto speaking about homosexual individuals, or no I take that back,it’s  about gay men (it is always about gay men). Anyhow, I bring up some of the recent development in Lithuania, what happened in Sweden during the summer, Tel Aviv, etc, as well as stating the weird case of Lt.Col. Victor Fehrenbach is the U.S airforce.

A man who has done everything he can to protect his contryI might not agree on war as a whole, I can’t do that, but I find the DADT-policy just wrong,. A policy that is the perfect example of institutionalised homophobia.

Anyhow, after talking about this man, the relative that has given me the most creeps so far start to talk about the evidence that show why gay men should not serve in the army. Which is apparently the same evidence that show that women should not serve in the army. And now, lo and behold, also the same reasons for why men can’t lead boy’s choirs. Yep. There it is. Homosexuals and peadophiles. He is seriously stating that  male sexuality that is so out of hand that a man that is interested in somethint just go and fuck it, no matter if is a woman, a man or a child.

At this point I had enough. I can’t breathe and I’ve had enough. I take my stuff and leave, right then and there. It feels like my whole body is convulsing as I walk down the road towards the station and for a split second I feel bad about running away, but then I realise I can’t feel sorry for putting down the foot and saying no way. No go homophobic, racist, sexist, misandrogynist pig.

When I moved to London I quite quickly decided to not have that kind of people in my life. If someone cannot respect me, my identity, my feelings and my life, the4y can bugger off, because it never seize to amaze me on how many amazing people there are. Why give time to idiot? They will hurt you anyway, no matter if they are your friend or not. But the likelyhood of them breaking you is smaller if you don’t let them be a part of your life.Which is easier said than done.

But anyhow.  I just went. And it felt like I was in a movie, like I could do stuff, like I am an important person. Which is something that feel very rarely. If never. But now I now, all that work I long to do, it is needed. Thanks a bunch, dear relative. I will fuck up your world and I will enjoy it. Because you know what? While you keep on pretending like your main source of news, facts and opinions do not come from Daily Mail and News of the World, an army will conquer this world. Inch by inch. An army of lovers, and an army of lovers cannot loose.


An Army of Lovers Cannot Loose

We sit at the fastfood place, it’s early summer morning and we have just left the party were we celebrated Stockholm Pride. Me, one of my dearest friends and another lovely friend of mine are bubbly, high on endorphins and also tired after one week of queer activism and partying in the most beautiful city in Scandinavia.

H who is a pervert and loves to dance is often perceived as being gay. I think it has to do with his pink latex in the pride parade, or that he just sometimes does not conform to gender stereotypes. And I love him for it. With makeup or without, in his smart suits (suits that he can pass as a straight man). But all in all, he identifies as a straight man. This morning he is dressed up, wearing his matrixy pvc-coat and nice makeup.

So we are sitting, munching away, some of us on vegetarian hamburgers, some of us on dead animals. When H decides to go to the loo he has to pass a group of people, and they stare. We are used at being stared at, christ, 12 hours prior to this we paraded through Stockholm, dressed in our finest latex, leather, pcv and corsets and we enjoyed every minute of it. So far so good.
But now when H is walking back, passing the group again, there it is. Shouted out. ‘Fucking faggot’.

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