A nice afternoon tea in a a clean suburb of London. I am actuallly outside zone 6 for real. Does not happen very often. Anyway, I’m meeting with relatives and we are pretty much done with the sandwiches as well as the cakes and the tea. The discussions has been many and I find myself in a situation where everyone around me is so safe in their middle-classness that they dare to claim that racism, structures and homophobia does not exist. Or, correction it does not exist in the U.K,. Only in places where there is Muslims (who, btw, just FYI, ‘are wanting to take over the world and destroy the way we live’, according to them). And, yeah, all of them know of both gay men and muslims, some of their best friends are muslims, so apparently that is a valid for them to act like morons.
I’m quite frustrated at this moment, because none of my points are going through, hitting in thin air, speaking to, well, a wall. My mother sits next to me and have a hard time keeping up because of language-difficulties (she is not english)
And then, we start to talk about my future. What I want to do, work with, who I want to be. I am open with whom I am, a non-straight queer-identified individual. I try to be as open as I can. And I am also fairly open with what I want to do with my life, aka working sexual rights/health rights. Immediatley, the conversation turns onto speaking about homosexual individuals, or no I take that back,it’s about gay men (it is always about gay men). Anyhow, I bring up some of the recent development in Lithuania, what happened in Sweden during the summer, Tel Aviv, etc, as well as stating the weird case of Lt.Col. Victor Fehrenbach is the U.S airforce.
A man who has done everything he can to protect his contryI might not agree on war as a whole, I can’t do that, but I find the DADT-policy just wrong,. A policy that is the perfect example of institutionalised homophobia.
Anyhow, after talking about this man, the relative that has given me the most creeps so far start to talk about the evidence that show why gay men should not serve in the army. Which is apparently the same evidence that show that women should not serve in the army. And now, lo and behold, also the same reasons for why men can’t lead boy’s choirs. Yep. There it is. Homosexuals and peadophiles. He is seriously stating that male sexuality that is so out of hand that a man that is interested in somethint just go and fuck it, no matter if is a woman, a man or a child.
At this point I had enough. I can’t breathe and I’ve had enough. I take my stuff and leave, right then and there. It feels like my whole body is convulsing as I walk down the road towards the station and for a split second I feel bad about running away, but then I realise I can’t feel sorry for putting down the foot and saying no way. No go homophobic, racist, sexist, misandrogynist pig.
When I moved to London I quite quickly decided to not have that kind of people in my life. If someone cannot respect me, my identity, my feelings and my life, the4y can bugger off, because it never seize to amaze me on how many amazing people there are. Why give time to idiot? They will hurt you anyway, no matter if they are your friend or not. But the likelyhood of them breaking you is smaller if you don’t let them be a part of your life.Which is easier said than done.
But anyhow. I just went. And it felt like I was in a movie, like I could do stuff, like I am an important person. Which is something that feel very rarely. If never. But now I now, all that work I long to do, it is needed. Thanks a bunch, dear relative. I will fuck up your world and I will enjoy it. Because you know what? While you keep on pretending like your main source of news, facts and opinions do not come from Daily Mail and News of the World, an army will conquer this world. Inch by inch. An army of lovers, and an army of lovers cannot loose.