Tag Archives: sex

This whole sub-thing, I’m doing it wrong

Ok, people, a question for you:

How the heck do you ever manage?

I find myself constantly mixing up my roles and getting even more confused. So please, pretty pretty readers, tell me how you do to separate that subby little person inside of you with the one who is supposed to have a normal functioning relationship.
I know that if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m intelligent (enough intelligent, at least) and can see through myself (a bit) I’d end up in an abusive relationship where I’d just succumb to this deep desire to just you know, be punished for being me. Since according to me, I’m always wrong. And probably needs to be punished. Possibly killed.

To be sexually submissive (switchy, really, but mostly submissive) and combine that with a mind that constantly tells me that I’m horrible, is not the best of ideas.

I really just want to tell the hugfriend “Take away my rights, control everything, and please hurt me a lot.”. I’m not doing that though, because I’m not a teenager and I do understand that I’d only get even more fucked up in the process. Please note that I’m not a painslut, so I would more suffer than enjoy myself anyhow most of the time.

Can anyone else reckognize themselves in this? I’m aiming for the overkill while writing this, but you know, the general feeling.

I mean, how normal is it to oh-gazm while thinking of your hugfriend drowning you, because you accidentically woke him up by calling to early. (The calling did happen in real life, and popped up in my mind while working my way towards the Oh.)

I know normal might not be a concept we really aim for here, but I’d say even a very liberal therapist would think that’s over the line.

So how do you do it people? How do you keep yourself sane and functional, without turning into a complete doormat, when the option is within reach?

(Ok, hugfriend would never let me go doormat on him, but if I’d lowered my standards far enough, I’m sure there’s plenty of middle aged men with redeveloped babyfat that would just love to assist me on my road to doom.)

If I'm gonna be a doormat, this is the doormat I want to be.

//Silia


My kinks vs yours aka mine are normal, you’re just weird

Having a partner that just recently opened up to the world of  lovely kinky sex opens up a world of trouble. Mostly wonderful, exiting and interesting trouble, but also some trouble I’d rather live without. For example the trouble I wrote about in the last post, but that wasn’t what I had in mind just now.

The trouble that I’m thinking of is the Problem With The Colliding Kinks. It’s nice to discover that he likes to hit me and fcuk me until I cry of happiness and pain. It’s nice to discover (for him) that I, while close to orgasm beg for him to hit me. It’s nice all the ways to rainbows and happy bunnies bouncing all over the place to find our mutual fascination for fantasizing about old school harem girls and boys, tied up in some tent in the desert, waiting for their owner to use them. It’s nice even more to notice we both like when he smears my body in his cum and makes me lick his fingers and then kisses me (oh god, how hot it is with a man who likes the taste of his own sperm on me. Oh god oh god oh god).

Then suddenly he says something like “I’d like to fuck you from behind while you are eating chocolate cake. I want you to stuff your face with it while I fuck you until you come”. And I’m all weirded out. Yeah, sure, that could probably be nice, but eating and fucking at the same time? That seems messy and complicated. I would be all for drenching my body in something like youghurt and then fucking me, because it’s soft and milky and probably feels nice to the skin.. But eating? Concentrating on swallowing, the taste, stuff like that? I’ll probably try it, but I feel a bit estranged by the idea.

And the problem is very clear here, for any one doing kink. You have to respect eachothers kinks, weither it be that he wants you to take a shit and make him eat it, or she wants to be dressed like a whore and you prefer her to be naked. You can’t just go “Uh, that’s horrible, I hate the idea of you licking vomit from my face”, no, no.. it’s not like in vanilla land, where everything is bad, no, here nothing can be bad. It’s just different. Suddenly you end up with a whole range of variations on the lines of “yeah, that’s interesting baby, but it doesn’t do it for me”. Why? Why can’t you just be a hardliner on your dealbreakers and say no fucking way and get it over with? Because it might have taken ten years for this person to get to the point where they dare to trust any one enough to tell about this.

I know I felt really bad when my half fetish for pearls and necklaces got a bad reception when I told my last kinkfriend about it. I felt like a complete idiot. And that’s not even a very strange or dirty secret.

So, I guess, as Marie Antoinette (or whoever it was)  would say: Let me have cake.

//silia


Short story

There is a certain itch there. I want to touch the giggling body.
Can the other housemates hear her voice slip through the wood of the door?
Running thoughts back and forth, breathing hard to try to curb a certain enthusiasm. No stress.
Stroking my crotch against her body, nailing it down with the weight of my body and wondering…
What next?

She is not a still body, waiting to be conquered, she is forceful and still laughing with every movement. She even laughs every now and then when I hit her buttocks or the back of her thighs with the palm of my hand.

We share a kiss and she taste of nicotine.
Quick pinches back and forth, moaning and laughing.
J stands in the middle of the room, wrapping the tall and naked D. D smiles as his body disappear underneath the black tape. He is becoming less and less able to move.

I leave S, handing her over to J, who light the waxcandle. She twitches still, but has even more of a glaze in her eyes… D lies on the bed beside her, watch her and the wax dripping over the strong body. When the Hitachi is turned on, it makes him shiver, a lot. But he cannot move anywhere, and I laugh out loud when continuing pressing the vibrator against his crotch.

Me and J have a certain goal with that evening. A certain goal with the darlings and in the end we watch her fuck D with a strapon. J holds me tight while I come hard.
And whatever goal we had, it really does not matter now.


Kerfuffle

I know. I am good at finding loads of interesting things to read, rather than writing my own post. What is worse is that I choose to post them here,  instead of writing properly. And my excuse? I have none! The guide to shopping seem to come to nothing for the moment.

Anyhow. There is the ‘research’ that has been conducted by a certain blogger that resulted in the conclusion that male dom’s are bawwd pwepol, women are conditioned victims and BDSM is, by default the carrier of all bad things that patriarchy stands for.  To follow all that, the ever so brilliant SM-feminist has all the action collected here.   Letters of Gehennas ‘The Shareef Don’t Like It’ is a post with the short version of all the things that has come up during these discussions.

But what is the most brilliant thing is the recent development, is this and this.

The most amazing post this week though, is Habu’s ‘Of Kink…’ and the week get of to a good start with these words from the post

“I’ve always been where the front lines are when it really matters, and if that’s not “feminist” enough for those with smoke blowing out their ears from behind they keyboards, my answer really comes down to ‘Tough shit.’

They’ve got a problem with it, it’s their problem, not mine.”


Intro-fucking-duction

Silia:
We figured we should introduce you to this blog by writing a discussion about, well, everything. Ve and I talked about doing a blog since we are so abfab and have so much to say (she didn’t really put it that way, but close enough).

I’ll just start by introducing myself: I’m 25, sizzling hot and blond. Also I have a brain. This seems to be thought of as a fairly unusuall combination, but being swedish I know that I’m not the only one (Ve is a good example of another sizzling hot brainy girl even though she doesn’t live in Sweden). I’m a feminist, quite queer and also usually desperate enough to sleep with anything that moves, and if it doesn’t I poke it ’till it does.. No, seriously, a big part of my feminism is about sexuality and my right to my body, my right to not see my body as something holy, but more of a playground. It’s mine, and I do whatever I like with it thank you very much.  Things that makes me want to go rampage with a gun is men that assume that just because I do like sex, I’d like to have it with them. The answer is No. Everytime. No, I’ll say it again. No.
I’m a writer, a poet and a lost cause. I’m sexually submissive (sometimes), but I have an issue with the dresscode of the bdsm world. I’m the enfant terrible of basically everything, and I love every minute of my tirades.

Ve:

Silia, partner in crime, sourze of both inspiration, headscratching and laughter, and as close to me as a sister. From the first time we met she has taken her responsibility to deprave me as much as possible but also fuelled many a heated discussions. I can’t remember a single time where we haven’t talked about something that revolves around sexual politics, relationships, feminism and the nasty acts themselves. And now, we will bring out that on the internet, you lucky bastards!
Silia prepared me well, if anything could’ve prepared me for what was waiting in capital of The Stiff Upper Lip (London that is). There, it all escalated.

Coming out on the fetish scene, meeting fellow pervs, dancing a lot, playing and coming hard (oh yes, I love used-up clichès) and during the days work in the best sexshop in the whole world sparked the fire
that was already lit.
22 y.o and stubborn as hell.

I am also one of those who calls themselves a poet and other labels that I might pick from the bowl to label myself with is queer feminist, relationship anarchist, switch and whatever floats my boat that day.

Yesh, Silia, it feels like I could agree with most of the things you already written, but still, am quite sure that you and I will write from completely different angles.
Let’s start this show!

Silia:
Yeah, thing is, even though we do agree on a lot of things, we have one huge thing that differs us. You enjoy the bdsm-scene, I cry tears of blood just thinking of it. It’s like admitting a disease: I can’t stand red and black together and have a really really hard time seeing the point of Latex, leather of pvc. You see? It’s impossible. I finally find the type of depraved sex I want, and then: They all dress like some sort of half goths from the 90’s!

Ve:

Oh, forgot to mention: Silia is the better one on sarcasm, irony and general bashing. Itry too keep up, not there yet. Love her for it, but fact is, I do l look awesome in my red and black latexdress!
In other words, I got my kinks, that involve corsets, rubber aswell as the whole idea about power exchange, surrounding bondage, sadomasochism, submission and dominance.

Back to the subject. I think I was lucky, was coming from a smaller swedish town and then going to London. There’s a world inbetween, and the world is spelled diversity and openness. And better opportunities to dress in what can only be described as Very Hot Clothes That Makes My Heart Pound and lower regions overflow.
I would probably don’t be where I am now if I stayed in Sweden.  I am all for change, diversity and open minds and that’s why you, dear reader, will hopefully join on both of our journeys, where mine will maybe be more about all the wonderfully nasty things  that wonderfully people do to me or I do to them.

So, favourite slut of all time, when are you coming to London and start humping the beautiful people? I can find someone without latexgear…

Silia:
When the beautiful people of UK starts developing a gene that allows them to have a chin.. Nah, I believe you Ve on the fact that people dress better overthere, i do at least dearly hope so because I just can’t take one more overweight man in leather trousers with a tendency to call me whore and think I’ll melt into a puddle of submission just by him being. Not being infact anything, just being.
There’s another thing that differ us quite clearly, Ve loves it, lives it and enjoys almost every minute of it (I just assume that even she has bad days, superwoman has to have bad hair days aswell, ey?), for her it is well, a way of living. For me it’s just a rather annoying part of my personality. If I could, i’d chop that part right off and feed it to the dogs (my neighbour has a rottweiler, she can have it). Sometimes I admit that I wish I was more like her in this aspect, but I don’t seem to have it in me. Instead I go complete happy happy joy joy when I dance instead. A fairly more socially acceptable hobby. “So what do you do in your spare time?” “I ask people to spank my ass and call me charlie” vs “I go dancing”. Ha, who wins? (She is still the one having the most fun I think, and definitly her clitoris has.)

That not saying my clitoris is ignored and locked into a cupboard somewhere. (Ve comments: It certainly isn’t.. and raises an eyebrow) It gets out and about from time to time, we go for walkies now and then.. The truth is, I’m a goddamn slut. I am, and I am also goddamn proud of it. So many of my friends feel anxiety after a crappy shag, all I feel is “ah, what the hell, i’ll make it up with someone else tonight”. I’m glad that I mysteriously escaped the whole business of being ashamed of my somewhat strong sexuality.  I’m a relationship anarchist, and most of the time I keep about three sexual relationships going paralell, plus whatever sex that happens when I’m drunk. I’m also in about 2-4 emotional relationships in paralell, sexual or non sexual. Yes, my schedule is pretty packed. But it’s fun and it works for me, which in the end is the only thing that matters.

As Ve said, she will probably be the one delivering the pr0n, while i´ll be ranting about the natural doms that are spread over sweden like some damn plauge of locusts… It’s not because she’s getting more of the sexy stuff, it’s just that i’m so just to getting it (i’m not serious ok? Thats a joke, laugh now.). I’ll probably write about sexual experiences to, but my approach will probably be more problem based. See it as a form of intellectual pr0n. One thing I promise I will write about though is when I try messy the first time, because i’ll be such a happy little gal after that, that nothing can stop me:D.

But Ve, I know you have The Wanky Men ™ in La Londre, but are you really completely free from the natural doms? In that case, I’m already packing my bags..

Ve:

Oh, I wish. There is The Wanky Men™ and something else. The Dribbling Wet Subs. I am not talking about the dribbling that can come from really hot play session nor about Wet, I am talking about men who honestly think every dominant woman, or domme, is having an urge to play with them. It’s the whole thing over and over again, womens sexuality is still not seen as her own. La Londre is not free from this, certainly not, and therefor I will not only provide the pr0n, but also do my best to make sure to feed you with the flaming political rants aswell.  I am a huge fan of sex ed, safe sex and sexpositive attitudes and spaces and not afraid not express that. Happily I will try to give as much as I can, listen to you readers about your experiences and point out other awesome texts on internet, cause it’s a win-win situation.

(Silia:
Yeah, sorry, i forgot: I too want to read about our readers experiences, it’s just that my image doesn’t really allow that sort of positive outbursts in terms of two way communication, I’m more of a monologue-ish person… ;) )

With more facts and knowledge and access to that, the more power you have in your own life, in whatever kind of situations you end up in and whatever kind of choices you wan’t to make.
+ it could not be better; the perversities and politics from both Sweden AND U.K delieveried by two sizzling hot (can’t repeat that to many times) blondes that just want more. And more. And more.

Ready world?
Here we are!

Silia and Ve


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 39 other followers