On abuse, ‘Dominance’, status & experiences

One more of those ‘please, read, now. Now’.

Ms Pet writes on Sexability how she was getting a non-consensual experience when a leatherdyke topped her without listening to her. This text has elements of incest and non-consensual acts, so please, if you are aware that this can have triggering effects on you, read with care or any other way you see fit.

The importance of not only examine the mechanisms that are on the ‘outside’ but also those within a community cannot be disregarded. Just because one have all the beautiful theories and practices does not mean that ‘power’ that is possible to vield don’t have their base in something that is so harming.
You who experience abuse on the grounds of racism, sexism, classism, queer/transophobia, physical/emotional abilities and so on, I have a hard time believing you are few. All your stories are important. It is not your responsibility to change idiocracy, but every time you speak up it is so fucking important.

Just because we play around with power does not mean that we have to comply to the rules of power in a world that think that power is ‘power over’ .

‘Power over’ lies in the belief that I can increase my power by taking some of yours. The way I get to feel big is you to feel small, and the way I get to feel secure is to make you feel insecure. ‘Power with is based on the idea that we all can become more powerful by supporting each other in being more powerful”
Easton & Lizt in ‘ The New Bottoming Book’

Nor can we ignore the mechanism, the fact that we live in a world with inequalities and structures. My sad experience is that I’ve met more people who are good at disregarding this in Sweden. It could be that I have the benefit to be based in London, a very multifacetted town, but fact is, there is shit going here as well. There is shit everywhere.

Fight the shit. As much as you can, as much as you want.

//

Ve

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