My mind spins a bit. Once again, essaywriting is on the menu, and deadline in less than 12 hours. So why not get an email and a question about play? Thanks, a bunch ^^.
I don’t know about play for the moment. I’ve been in hiatus, and is still only starting again to get out. It has to do where I want to be in life, how much energy I have for the moment and if I feel I can do something good with it. For the last couple of months, I really realised how selective I need to be in playing with people. Not that I don’t like them, (I don’t play with people I don’t like, a kind of old, yet still new resolution), but because how much it can take out of me. Even if there is the magical exchange, that give and take that make it all wonderful and so on, I can get so tired. I guess that is top-drop…
What I am saying is that just because a practice is fucking fun and amazing, coming down can sometimes be the reason for taking it slower. I am not in this to be constantly bad or have bad things done to me all the time. I am in this because it is fun.
And in stressed moments, the fun part can actually disappear, even if it should not. So I stay cautious and aware of my day to day mood.
Many things are happening. Soon, school starts, essays will be far away and for a couple of weeks I will be having fun and relax more than I’ve done so far. And I plan on being bad. And very good. The gym is a doubleedged sword that I plan on sticking right in to my tummy and the food is going to consist of other things than sugars and additives.
But the bad parts..Oh. The bad parts.
I want to fuck cute men in the ass. There you have it. I don’t know why I am nervous, but thank heavens I have a couple of people who are more than willing to be guinea pigs…
I want cute, intelligent and funny men to suffer. In my head, I want one of those long flogging sessions, in which the backside I hit get more and more red and warm and I want to learn CBT.
I want to play more with women. It’s kind of silly right now. There was this gorgeous lass who’m I dated for some time. I can’t do that any more, she is far to manipulative. But everytime I see her eyes and thinking about how we trembled together, trying to not touch eachother, I want to dial that number.
Met another woman, an amazing, smart, beautiful and fun one. I get nervous around her, in a way I usually don’t get. How much armour do I really need? She has already made me giggle, lying face down in her lap, with the dress and petticoat pulled over my head and getting spanked. I had been a bad boi. I really bad boi.
The Ethical Hedonist must have some lessons with me regarding the E-stim. Must learn. Must steal some day and wire up an innocent soul, then taking that poor one out in public, pressing the buttons and look suprised when the victim squirms.
And now, Ve needs to write the essay.