Monthly Archives: February 2009


I know. I am good at finding loads of interesting things to read, rather than writing my own post. What is worse is that I choose to post them here,  instead of writing properly. And my excuse? I have none! The guide to shopping seem to come to nothing for the moment.

Anyhow. There is the ‘research’ that has been conducted by a certain blogger that resulted in the conclusion that male dom’s are bawwd pwepol, women are conditioned victims and BDSM is, by default the carrier of all bad things that patriarchy stands for.  To follow all that, the ever so brilliant SM-feminist has all the action collected here.   Letters of Gehennas ‘The Shareef Don’t Like It’ is a post with the short version of all the things that has come up during these discussions.

But what is the most brilliant thing is the recent development, is this and this.

The most amazing post this week though, is Habu’s ‘Of Kink…’ and the week get of to a good start with these words from the post

“I’ve always been where the front lines are when it really matters, and if that’s not “feminist” enough for those with smoke blowing out their ears from behind they keyboards, my answer really comes down to ‘Tough shit.’

They’ve got a problem with it, it’s their problem, not mine.”


On racism & fastfood-pr0n

Apparently, there is even shaky things going on in the pr0nbuisness. If I hear one more person saying the words ‘credit’ and ‘crunch’ in the same sentence I will probably tie a noose and give it to that person. But apparently, even the buisness of picturing people making whopiee is feeling it and trying to find ‘new’ ways of continue being able to sell. Violet Blue (she is awesome and will have her link in the list ASAP) writes about the question of ‘interracial’ pr0n and the ‘humour’ and ‘tongue in cheek’ of the mainstream pr0n companies that is not supposed to be racism at all. Or is it? Where is the titles like ‘Oh, no she is fucking a white, ugly middleclass, fat idiot with nothing behind his skull‘ . But then again, pr0n is big buisness, that title would not sell and buisness must go on, giving people what they want. Yeah right. Adult Video News (AVN) claims that interracial pr0 is the recessionproof category in adult video industry, but Violet Blue is examining that statement in this brilliant column in San Fransisco Chronicle pointing towards standards and racism in the industry of pr0n.

We all know about roleplay and taboos being broken but Blue hit the nail on the head when she says:

“On closer inspection, there’s something more than a little disingenuous about AVN’s sense of humor. We all know that porn is built to part you with your hard-earned cash and proffer fantasies; sometimes certain kinds of fantasy or roleplaying can be sexy: taboos, whether actual or perceived, are always hot, right? The positive ability of porn is that is can show partnering that is charged because it crosses racial boundaries; I believe that damage is not done by the FACT of crossing those taboos, but in the WAY those taboos are crossed.”

AVN responded with what can only be describes as a unfounded, personal attack on Blue, rather than thinking about what the implications of her text and questions actually mean.
To read the whole story, click here.

This is so fucking important to talk about with the mainstream pr0nindustry that exists today.  And it stinks of racism, orientalism, sexism and plain stupidity. Cause there is so much more to it. This blatant commersialised shit does not get me turned on, but someone else might. I don’t like pr0on to be honest. I am tired of going through hords of shit to find 3 minutes of hotness. Cause the stereotypes are nothing more.Madison Young who is interviewed for the column puts it perfectly by saying:

“The LA porn world has gotten to the point where the majority of the material that they are producing is something that I would call ‘fast food porn.’ It’s junk food. Offensive and artery-clogging porn.”

I like organic things, I like food where I can taste something and recognise it as an actual taste. But must confess that I occasionally have a burger or two. D00m on me. How about you?


The female Oh-gasm

Hi, I know, Sorry, haven’t written for a while. I sort of started another blog that isn’t as secret as this one and sort of started writing there instead. Mostly about religion.

But right now I’m listening to a documentary about the female orgasm, and I felt like making a short contribution.

It’s interesting, because even if we are sort of equal now, and even though everybody knows that the female orgasm exists, people still seem to think that the female orgasm is harder to achieve than the male. This isn’t true. At all. It takes about four minutes for a female to reach orgasm when DIYing, it’s the same amount of time it takes for a male. What makes the female orgasm harder to reach, more elusive and all that BS, is that we have constructed our sex around the male perspective. The focus is still on vaginal penetration, one of the hardest ways to reach orgasm, if not assisted by clitoral stimulation (bar blow jobs, but you know what I mean.).

I know I’m one of those who have a really hard time to reach orgasm during sex with another person. Autoerotically, I get annoyed if I only get one, and usually get three. Yes, I do multiples on my own. But with another person involved, I can’t. This has nothing to do with inability physically. It’s all in my brain. It’s probably about techniques, but the mind is in the way for even getting that far. I know everything about everything that is to know about sex, but I cannot relax. Not that far. No. This is seriously sad.

I know one reason for this: I seldom take my time to actually get horny before I have sex. I have a hard time taking control over my own sexlife, I don’t want to be the driving force. This combined with all these heaps of men who actually don’t care about your orgasm, especially not if they have theirs first. I did have some great sex last weekend, with a guy who took the time to kiss me enough to make my knees weak. That worked. I didn’t orgasm, but I was closer then usual. I think that this guy might make me relax enough to let me actually explore, get horny, and have that damn orgasm.

I admire and envy all you who just orgasm away just like that, who can be that confident. I can’t. But give me a couple of years and I’ll join you. 🙂

I’ll be back in a week, I need to rant about the hymen myth aswell.

London Fetish Fair & London Alternative Market

I don’t think  ( and really hope) that no one objects when I say that kink is big buisness and loads of money. Because it is.  Searching on the internet makes you find virtually everything. Some of the sites and buisnesses are great, some are less great, and my ‘humble’ opinion is that most of it is kack.
My own shopping is more or less based on the senses. I like touch and use it when ever I can. But I also like to be able to pay a fair amount of money, rather than a mad over-the-top kind of style. I don’t think a horsewhip that is 10 quid should be 40 just because it is sold as a BDSM-object.

In Sweden, there is a certain limitation of choice, as everywhere else. Everyone can find the local hardware store (which are great!) and in at least every smaller city there is a ‘erotic boutique’ or pr0n shop as I like to call them. I may be judgemental, but it is rare that the conventional store actually have something that is both good quality and safe to use and furthermore, staff is not very interested in helping out. I am talking about normal towns here folks, in Sweden, and we may be perverts, but the market is still bollocks, filled with toys that are both dangerous, badly produced, riding on the fears of the consumers, etc etc. So, either if you are into the pain and domination filth or if you are just dipping your toes, it can be recommended  to do some research.  And to help you out, I am going to start the…..*drumsolo*

‘Ve’s guide to filthy shopping’

next week.

But before that starts, there is other hunting grounds to be found. If you are so lucky and spend some time in London then it could be that you find yourself being able to go to London Fetish Fair (LFF) or London Alternative Market (LAM). Both are markets aimed for the pervert who like to socialise, learn and maybe shop.
LAM is every first Sunday of the month and LFF takes place every second Sunday. If you are in London and have the possibility to go, do. The prices are fair, the people are fun and it is also no dresscode + playpartys after each and every event.

Iceland, dix point

Iceland, dix point!

1980, the people of Iceland chose the first female president. Now, after Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson had to step down after the country’s financial collapse, their new prime minister is Johanna Sigurdardottir. Yes, she is a woman, but she is also the first openly gay head of state in the whole world.
And we love it!

Johanna Sigurdardottir. President of Iceland.

Go PM Sigurdardottir!