My kinks vs yours aka mine are normal, you’re just weird

Having a partner that just recently opened up to the world of  lovely kinky sex opens up a world of trouble. Mostly wonderful, exiting and interesting trouble, but also some trouble I’d rather live without. For example the trouble I wrote about in the last post, but that wasn’t what I had in mind just now.

The trouble that I’m thinking of is the Problem With The Colliding Kinks. It’s nice to discover that he likes to hit me and fcuk me until I cry of happiness and pain. It’s nice to discover (for him) that I, while close to orgasm beg for him to hit me. It’s nice all the ways to rainbows and happy bunnies bouncing all over the place to find our mutual fascination for fantasizing about old school harem girls and boys, tied up in some tent in the desert, waiting for their owner to use them. It’s nice even more to notice we both like when he smears my body in his cum and makes me lick his fingers and then kisses me (oh god, how hot it is with a man who likes the taste of his own sperm on me. Oh god oh god oh god).

Then suddenly he says something like “I’d like to fuck you from behind while you are eating chocolate cake. I want you to stuff your face with it while I fuck you until you come”. And I’m all weirded out. Yeah, sure, that could probably be nice, but eating and fucking at the same time? That seems messy and complicated. I would be all for drenching my body in something like youghurt and then fucking me, because it’s soft and milky and probably feels nice to the skin.. But eating? Concentrating on swallowing, the taste, stuff like that? I’ll probably try it, but I feel a bit estranged by the idea.

And the problem is very clear here, for any one doing kink. You have to respect eachothers kinks, weither it be that he wants you to take a shit and make him eat it, or she wants to be dressed like a whore and you prefer her to be naked. You can’t just go “Uh, that’s horrible, I hate the idea of you licking vomit from my face”, no, no.. it’s not like in vanilla land, where everything is bad, no, here nothing can be bad. It’s just different. Suddenly you end up with a whole range of variations on the lines of “yeah, that’s interesting baby, but it doesn’t do it for me”. Why? Why can’t you just be a hardliner on your dealbreakers and say no fucking way and get it over with? Because it might have taken ten years for this person to get to the point where they dare to trust any one enough to tell about this.

I know I felt really bad when my half fetish for pearls and necklaces got a bad reception when I told my last kinkfriend about it. I felt like a complete idiot. And that’s not even a very strange or dirty secret.

So, I guess, as Marie Antoinette (or whoever it was)  would say: Let me have cake.

//silia

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2 responses to “My kinks vs yours aka mine are normal, you’re just weird

  • I.

    Oh how I understand you. My partner in kink is very new to BDSM, and it does open a lot of trouble. I feel very hurt that he isn’t interested in (and/or creeped out by) a lot of my kinks and is not always very tactful in the way he tells me so.
    I miss you V. ! Whenever I come over to London I’ll let you know ! I want to hang out some more !

  • similarities

    (added //silia to the post, in case of misunderstanding)

    Good to hear someone else has similar “trouble” I have. I have to admit that I don’t even tell him about kinks that doesn’t match his, just to avoid the whole situation if he would actually get weirded out and not be nice enough about it.

    It’s a tangly mess, all of it.

    /Silia

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