Tag Archives: Lessons in life

No Go Homophobia

A nice afternoon tea in a a clean suburb of London. I am actuallly outside zone 6 for real. Does not happen very often. Anyway, I’m meeting with relatives and we are pretty much done with the sandwiches as well as the cakes and the tea. The discussions has been many and I find myself in a situation where everyone around me is so safe in their middle-classness that they dare to claim that racism, structures and homophobia does not exist. Or, correction it does not exist in the U.K,. Only in places where there is Muslims (who, btw, just FYI, ‘are wanting to take over the world and destroy the way we live’, according to them). And, yeah, all of them know of both gay men and muslims, some of their best friends are muslims, so apparently that is a valid for them to act like morons.

I’m quite frustrated at this moment, because none of my points are going through, hitting in thin air, speaking to, well, a wall. My mother sits next to me and have a hard time keeping up because of language-difficulties (she is not english)

And then, we start to talk about my future. What I want to do, work with, who I want to be. I am open with whom I am, a non-straight queer-identified individual. I try to be as open as I can. And I am also fairly open with what I want to do with my life, aka working sexual rights/health rights. Immediatley, the conversation turns onto speaking about homosexual individuals, or no I take that back,it’s  about gay men (it is always about gay men). Anyhow, I bring up some of the recent development in Lithuania, what happened in Sweden during the summer, Tel Aviv, etc, as well as stating the weird case of Lt.Col. Victor Fehrenbach is the U.S airforce.

A man who has done everything he can to protect his contryI might not agree on war as a whole, I can’t do that, but I find the DADT-policy just wrong,. A policy that is the perfect example of institutionalised homophobia.

Anyhow, after talking about this man, the relative that has given me the most creeps so far start to talk about the evidence that show why gay men should not serve in the army. Which is apparently the same evidence that show that women should not serve in the army. And now, lo and behold, also the same reasons for why men can’t lead boy’s choirs. Yep. There it is. Homosexuals and peadophiles. He is seriously stating that  male sexuality that is so out of hand that a man that is interested in somethint just go and fuck it, no matter if is a woman, a man or a child.

At this point I had enough. I can’t breathe and I’ve had enough. I take my stuff and leave, right then and there. It feels like my whole body is convulsing as I walk down the road towards the station and for a split second I feel bad about running away, but then I realise I can’t feel sorry for putting down the foot and saying no way. No go homophobic, racist, sexist, misandrogynist pig.

When I moved to London I quite quickly decided to not have that kind of people in my life. If someone cannot respect me, my identity, my feelings and my life, the4y can bugger off, because it never seize to amaze me on how many amazing people there are. Why give time to idiot? They will hurt you anyway, no matter if they are your friend or not. But the likelyhood of them breaking you is smaller if you don’t let them be a part of your life.Which is easier said than done.

But anyhow.  I just went. And it felt like I was in a movie, like I could do stuff, like I am an important person. Which is something that feel very rarely. If never. But now I now, all that work I long to do, it is needed. Thanks a bunch, dear relative. I will fuck up your world and I will enjoy it. Because you know what? While you keep on pretending like your main source of news, facts and opinions do not come from Daily Mail and News of the World, an army will conquer this world. Inch by inch. An army of lovers, and an army of lovers cannot loose.


The female Oh-gasm

Hi, I know, Sorry, haven’t written for a while. I sort of started another blog that isn’t as secret as this one and sort of started writing there instead. Mostly about religion.

But right now I’m listening to a documentary about the female orgasm, and I felt like making a short contribution.

It’s interesting, because even if we are sort of equal now, and even though everybody knows that the female orgasm exists, people still seem to think that the female orgasm is harder to achieve than the male. This isn’t true. At all. It takes about four minutes for a female to reach orgasm when DIYing, it’s the same amount of time it takes for a male. What makes the female orgasm harder to reach, more elusive and all that BS, is that we have constructed our sex around the male perspective. The focus is still on vaginal penetration, one of the hardest ways to reach orgasm, if not assisted by clitoral stimulation (bar blow jobs, but you know what I mean.).

I know I’m one of those who have a really hard time to reach orgasm during sex with another person. Autoerotically, I get annoyed if I only get one, and usually get three. Yes, I do multiples on my own. But with another person involved, I can’t. This has nothing to do with inability physically. It’s all in my brain. It’s probably about techniques, but the mind is in the way for even getting that far. I know everything about everything that is to know about sex, but I cannot relax. Not that far. No. This is seriously sad.

I know one reason for this: I seldom take my time to actually get horny before I have sex. I have a hard time taking control over my own sexlife, I don’t want to be the driving force. This combined with all these heaps of men who actually don’t care about your orgasm, especially not if they have theirs first. I did have some great sex last weekend, with a guy who took the time to kiss me enough to make my knees weak. That worked. I didn’t orgasm, but I was closer then usual. I think that this guy might make me relax enough to let me actually explore, get horny, and have that damn orgasm.

I admire and envy all you who just orgasm away just like that, who can be that confident. I can’t. But give me a couple of years and I’ll join you. 🙂

I’ll be back in a week, I need to rant about the hymen myth aswell.


epic fail lesbianism

This one goes out to the danish guy who threatened me to show the blog to people if I don’t write something. Yes yes, I know him in real life. You know, the world out there.

Much have happened since I actually wrote something here, and that is off course also the reason that I haven’t written for a while. First thing that happened is that I have now officially decided to flee the BDSM-scene. Why? Because there are just too many arrogant wankers around. I can’t stand it anymore. I admit it: I’d rather have half assed vanilla sex with someone who asks if it hurts when I moan, then I ever have sex with any of the men I’ve talked to inside the bdsm-scene. (99.8% because of said wankyness, and 0.2% because we are friends and it would feel weird. This paranteses is a disclaimer)

There is off course nothing wrong about being an utter disgrace for the human race and act like a complete fucktard. Not at all. There is plenty of other people who are fucktards too, but please hang out with your own crowd? Know your limits.

I’m stupid enough to think that if someone is hitting on me, they think they actually have a chanse and they have based this assumtion on some sort of understandings of social structures, human to human interaction and so on. So I generally give people a chanse. Big mistake in the bdsm-world. I mean, yes I have been approached by people who is way under my level when it comes to looks, but I assumed that if you were ugly and approached someone who looked better then you it was because you knew you had a winning personality. But it doesn’t work like that in cat’o’nine-world, nooo. Here people approach you solemnly based on sucidial desperation. I can see it in their minds: “OOh, lookit female, she wants to trample me/drink my urine/be whipped till she cries, I can see it on her, I mean she IS in the same room/city/continent as me, and we all know what that means *gner gner*”.

The best ones are the dominant males who sends you e-mails telling you that something in your presentation isn’t grammatically correct. And then getting angry with you because you answer back at them. Yes, it happened the other day and it was the last drop. Theres idiots in vanilla land too, but they are so much more easily avoided.

My latest project now has been to sleep with a guy from the caribs (west india),  his idea of gender roles are so old school that to me, it’s almost D/s role play. I think that this might be the lovely middle rode for me. Sleep with strange people instead of BDSM, and I still get my dose of sexual weirdness.

Oh yes, the trylesbianism. It didn’t work, at all. I’m sorry to say it, but I can’t have a relationship with someone who dislikes heterosexuals. Or thinks bisexuals have it easy. I am officially fail at hanging out with lesbians. Or at least that type of lesbian. This isn’t the first time I hear this either. And it bugs me.
Just because you are an oppressed minority, that doesn’t give you the right to oppresse another minority now does it.
So I gave up, and went on to converting one of Ves friends from straight to bi instead. That was fun. I think it works better for me to just have relationships or such with other bisexuals.

So, not that much ranting, just a normal little blog-thingie. But at least, we are back:D.


PUA? Come on people..

Silia:

Today has been one of those nostalgia travels through the Internet, and I ended up reading tips and tricks from the seduction base, one the site that shows men on how to pick up girls, you know, The Game style. PUA:s.

Frankly, I have quite a lot to say about this community, I’m gonna give you a bit of a taste:

1. If you never get laid, you were not meant to get laid.

2. If you would stop looking at women like trofées , your lifes would be so much more fun, AND you would get more sex.

3. Don’t go for the tens, only reason they have sex with you is because they are blind and desperate, they wouldn’t poke you with a stick if they had brains bigger then a caterpillars. Incidentally, the girls you hit on don’t have that. But of course, if you like fucking larvae, go ahead.

4. I’ve had people trying this techniques on me. They have never worked. I’m not a ten, but the reason for them not working, is the guys trying them not even being a six. And trust me, if that neg is going to get you any pussy, you better be a damn ten and a half.

Lesson in life: The neg works on girls with the ego of a world power, the brain of a caterpillar and the looks of a playboy model (which, incidentally, is quite not-sexy, in my eyes.). It does not work on someone who is generally out of your league, or a ten in comparison to everyone else in the room. She’ll just think that you’re a wanker with an out of proportion ego. If she is like me, she will very likely fix this issue for you, by telling you so in various multi-syllable words that you will have to write down on a note and bring home for mom to translate.

So, to make a long story short, I hate The Game. It makes damn stupid and annoying men think that they can hit on me. I’m not a ten, and I do not have the brains of a caterpillar. Please, get out of my sight.

Also, the combination of the caterpillar brain and abfab looks is important. Why? Because no woman with half a brain and such astonishing features would even visit the same country as you.

Please, please keep in mind. If you do not get laid without using PUA-tricks, then maybe, just maybe you weren’t meant to reproduce.

Yes, that about defines exactly how horrible I am.
The abfab hot girl that I’m dating a bit at the moment pointed out that it’s easy for me to say this, since I’m as close to a PUA as you can get without being a complete wanker. (She didn’t say that, she just said that “The reason you think so is because you do get laid, think of all the people who doesn’t, maybe they are really nice people”, and I tried, I tried so bad, not to respond “Well, if they were so nice, how come nobody wants them? Are you promoting sleeping with ugly stupid people with crap personalities, just because underneath all that, there is a heart of gold? I have better things to do on Saturday nights then take pity on people” because that would have just proved that I am a total wanker. So I just said something like “oh, you might have a point, but still, you know.. “)

Example of what I find stupid and poor about the whole thing (Who, I wonder, WHO needs this instructions?):
Tadaa

I know I’m supposed to be loving and fun and so on, but I’m sorry, it’s just not me. Ve writes about that in the last post (no, i’m damn well not interlinking them, scroll down people, I know you can), and it’s nice that she can be happy about it. I can’t seem to ignore the fact that the idiots are everywhere. One bad egg ruins blah blah, and so on. Well, you can always think about us like some sort of ying and yang. If it wasn’t for the fact that I think that all that “eastern wisdom” is complete crap. Yeah, you figured that already didn’t you. If hell ever freezes over, I promise I’ll try yoga. Until then I’ll stick to cigarettes and alcohol thank you.