Tag Archives: queer



Gangsters and Molls, by Rolands Revue


We are walking down the road, I’m holding his arm and look in front of me. I’m following him, trying to not put too much weight on his arm and being aware of every move I make, listening to the small signals showing me which direction to go. There is people staring. My underwear restrict my movement slightly, make me walk differently, altering my posture, the pearls feels cool against the skin and the tightfitting gloves are perfect, enclosing my hands in a way that make me feel slightly from a different time and a different place.
We are on our way to a friends place and have been prepping during the afternoon and evening. There is something special about what we are doing right now, because Electronic Doll is in drag and doing his gangsterpersonae justice. The wrapping and packing is perfect, and the bulge in his trousers, albeit created with the help of a packing project, makes perfect sense.  And people are staring, and I come to think of all those stories of butch-femme couples that are passing as a straight couple, or all of those butch-femme couples that don’t pass, and it’s not just me who seem to be thinking about this. Electronic Doll seem to be aware of this as well, and we are both reading each other and our environment.

But I guess it is impossible to not flaunt what one got. So I just have to correct my stockings a bit, and he sits slumped back, with that kind of attitude that can just come from really, really good drag. We flirt, giggle, move in and out of characters like chameleons, discuss the potential of chameleons and I point out, as a true jealous girlfriend that I hope there will be no drama during the evening, that he will keep his cock in his trousers, to which he respond that he has never given me any promises what so ever. I know the game is on.
This is not something that I usually do, roleplay with that type of dynamic. I’m not very good at keeping in character, and find that my focus if off, but good god it is fun.

The party is awesome, meeting up with friends I’ve not seen for a while and drinking and chatting and dancing and laughing.  In a moment with some downtime, I sit down in his lap, we talk and then I can’t help but note how he got some lipstick on his mouth. And I explode, I feel angry and fed up and with a sour voice I let him know it.  How he can’t keep his cock in his trousers if he even tried. But he does not like to hear it, and pushing me, and I push back and suddenly we are on our feet fighting and shouting. My heels, the heaps of pearls I’m wearing around my neck, the underwear I’m wearing, all makes it impossible to fight back properly. In no time, I’m pushed against the wall, trying to get away but can’t, Electronic Doll telling me to appologize. And I can’t, my mouth is shut and I continue to struggle, he holds me tighter and there is a little something that breaks me there, but I have no idea what it is. A slight feeling of humiliation, excitement and adrenaline, he let’s me go with the words ‘Go and clean yourself up’. And I can hardly do that either, walking away on shaky legs, with a sense of shame burning on my cheeks.


Too Much Pussy! A Queer X-show

It’s cold, I’ve got a bad version of insomnia and February makes me feel miserable. I’m dreaming about warmer times and thinking about the summer. One amazing thing that I got to experience this summer was The Queer X-show.

By Deborah Degouts

The Queer X-show was 7 women who traveled through Europe in a van, performing on various stages and all this was filmed. The ‘first sexplicit, queer, documentary road movie’ was filmed by Emilie Jouvet. And it was awesome

The heroes of my summer became this amazing group, which consisted of DJ Metzgerei, Wendy Delorme, Judy Minx, Madison Young, Mad Kate, Sadie Lune, & Emilie Jouvet. But not only did I get to see them once but twice.First time was in Stockholm, during Stockholm Pride. Queer Allstars, organized by Wotever was one of the best parties during the week. Then they had already toured around Europe with their sexpositive message and full-frontal (femme) feminism and fuckery.
I did not really know anything about them, more than they were not to be missed. And the show itself started while I was snogging a gorgeous woman, not being entirely sober. So my concentration was maybe directed more at my fistfull of her hair than what happened at stage. But suddenly everything else stopped and I was breathing harder than ever. I don’t know which part of the show it was, except that it was spellbinding, terrifying, sexy and utterly in your face. A couple of people became upset, and I felt uneasy too, but not because of the show but because of some of the reactions from the audience. Undressed women carry many connotations, and I for one was sad when the biggest response from the audience came when someone showed their tits. Not because of the tits (they were stunning!) but because of the almost mandatory, general reaction in the audience. You know, the alpha male ‘rapture’. I know that a couple of people in the audience also felt uneasy, and some left because they were not able to reconcile their personal and political identities with what went on on stage.

Anyhow, when Mad Kate, dressed in zentai suit, tied herself into a karada and masturbated with a Hitachi while having microphones enhancing every sound, I could feel the electricity in the whole room.

Pic by Jean Pol

Judy Minx then came out, all innocent, making you think about very naughty ageplay, spitting gruel all over the audience before stripping and pissing on stage. Her small-girl personae was really something else

A captivating technofiliac scene followed, with a doll-like performance and a nighmarish ghoul performing a slow, painfully slow, strip, finishing kissing each other and in the same time blood flowing en mass from their mouths. I think this was one of the performances that made me cry. This passive, made up doll being undressed by a tall, dark, deformed figure. These characters who rested in their relationship, taking each other so far as to streams of blood. It is so hard to describe all the feelings, but the interplay between Delorme and Mad Kate was heartbreakingly beautiful.

The final playpiercingstrip I could barely watch (at that point my needlephobia was still getting in the way), but I could not help but taking sneak peaks. The oriental theme, with a conclusion that gave me the connotations of a sense of community and love for eachother echoed throughout the evening in Stockholm. I even thought about it while being lovingly stroked and pampered in the dungeon afterwards.

Then, a week later, back in the south of Sweden we realize that the same show is going to be shown in our town. It was not hard to decide whether to go and see them again or not. As for the most of the summer I was feeling a bit odd as we drove down to the venue on our bicycles, and that evening I was feeling antisocial, to be more specific. But at some point, I got tired of that feeling and decided that it was rope that I needed. So I turned back on my bicycle, pedaled like a mad person back, fetched my rope and got first a hold of E and then K. And after some lemonade and some knots I felt better already.
So when they came onstage again, I could just sit back and enjoy the ride that these performers take you on. The venue was different and it was a very different crowd as well. The art-gallery made the setup very different, all in all.

Things that struck me in this show was how much closer you could come to the performers. At an early stage, Judy Minx performed her piece about BDSM, and I was crying so much that it felt like floodgates had burst. It reminded me of people I missed, touches that I had to imagine instead of feeling, and reminded me of a sense of loss, a loss of something that I almost never even had.

BDSM is the quiet, firm pressure of your arm on my skin, pushing into my flesh as if I were made of dough.
It is the way your eyes stare coldly at me sometimes, moving slowly on me, observing me, examining every inch of me.
It is the slightest gesture – a reassuring nod of your head, telling me I can hold ten more seconds, just ten more seconds, and be a good girl for you ; a quiet look in your eyes that says trust me ; a little patting on my head, to tell me you’re proud of me, to tell me how strong and good I’ve been ; a word or two, you know you don’t need more, I know what you expect from me, and I know how to obey ; or an interrogative look, with something of a warning in it, is this what I told you to do ? is this how a good girl should behave ? what’s getting into you, don’t you want to please me ? you wouldn’t want to disappoint me. you’ve been bratty enough for tonight. quit it. now.
BDSM is your hand at the back of my neck, just this slight, gentle pressure at the back of my neck that paralyzes me all the way down my spine, controlling my every moves.

BDSM is you to me
BDSM is you and me.

It is well worth it to visit Judy’s own blog and read the whole text. It sure made me cry more than usually, and I’ve been called waterworks more than one time. A different burlesque came from Wendy Delorme, captivating and almost hypnotic she carefully watered the flowers.

Wendy Delorme, by Emilie Jouvet

Mad Kate did one of her fast-paced aggressive numbers, forcefully making the audience think about the self, the participation of social networks on internet and how scewed the notion of being a member of such communities can become, in which every second is documented, written about/upon, every moment captured with the help of a camera-lense and all of the informations that we crave transferred every second by wires or wireless networks. Hearing her scream about how she had to update her Facebook, check the Twitter, has any one written?!, is there any change since she last checked?! , this was both fun and frightening. And I decided to stop being stressed about updating More Inches.

Mad Kate, by Emilie Jouve

One other highlight (among many, so many that I will not write of all of them here) was Sadie Lune’s invite from her to look at her cervix. All a part of the educational and sex-positive spirit in which the show was performed with. She sat down in a plush chair, started talking about anatomy and cunts and then she took out a plastic speculum which she inserted. With the help of a torch, she then did a cervix viewing, encouraging people to step forward and look at her cervix. While doing this, she also answered questions about female anatomy. Many people stepped forward, but it took some time before they dared to do so. This felt at no time inappropriate and no one behaved in an abusive manner. The performers were powerful subjects (or if objects, chosen to be such) with bodies of their own, and this was very much the strength of the whole of the Queer X-show. It might sound strange that I’m saying it at all, but there is such a twisted notion in the world, which is a notion about the female form that cannot be viewed without being exploited. And that is to a certain extent true, but what if we are still subjects? What if the exploitative model does not suit all situations? I think this is a very true case when speaking of Queer X show. They refuse the notion of the powerless hypersexualized body, in favour of one that is true to relating to a sex-positive message while still refusing the normative mode in which the female body is produced. Maybe it should be noted that even if all of them could be considered ‘pretty’ or beautiful (not always very useful notions them either) they were often reclaiming their bodies on stage, and controlled the way that we could view them. This meant that distortions were never far away, a stripping to the bone, or a body moulded after their own likings. ‘Uglyfied’ is maybe the wrong word, but definitely different from what we think a body of beauty should look like. This challenge was for me, personally, the largest turn on, in a way that made me participate but to also think about who is really watching who.

Sadie Lune by Emilie Jouvet

Another beautiful scene, was the last ceremony in which the group showed their solidarity which sex-workers ended the show it self, although the party continued afterwards with great music, friendly people and of course, a sauna on wheels, which was used by many. It stood outside the venue, half a meter from the water (we were in the harbor) and the evening became full of nekkid people who bathed, sat in the sauna, made out, had sex, drank, danced, talked, rode on bikes in the nude. You name it.
And what did I do? I took it all in, then continued tying. Dolly, the poor thing looked good in the middle of the night, naked and stuck.

And what is even better, the trailer for the movie shot by Jouvet, can be seen here

You can find Queer X show’s blog here

I’ve been bad


Daddy, I’ve been so bad. Not updating the blog…

No, not really. I’m just saying that all those updates I’m planning takes a bit more time than I thought. It’s worth waiting for, because we are going to be speaking about needles. We are going to look at a radical feminists argument against BDSM and pick it into pieces. And furthermore, in hopefully a not too distant future, more interviews with perverts.

So, what then?

First of all: did you know that keeping a slave makes you stay healthy?
Another site that is a bit better on keeping up to date is Island of Pain.
They report on the Sharon Warner Case, which is one of those brilliant, fucked up things that makes me sad, mad and frustrated.  I’m not going to try to put it better than it is already written:

Chavez, on the other hand, as the situation is described by Warner, seems to have mixed work ethics and lifestyle behaviour beyond what could be seen acceptable, even within the BDSM community. My opinion is that you are definitely on thin ice when you involve your graduate students in your lifestyle behaviour – Not moral reasons, but because certain dependencies issues are created, as the lines between work and lifestyle are blurred.

So, yeah, what is wrong with people who can’t see the power dynamics at play here?  Go ahead and be as kinky as you want, but let’s dwell for one second on consent. Consent, power and trust.  Thinking about those terms, that we are often playing with and then just not realising the implications of involving your students is just plain stupid. No one is judged yet, but I don’t care and have a really hard time feeling sorry for Chavez. Furthermore, as it’s said in the comments, this is not about kink. It could be, but it’s not about kink-rights.

Another stupidity is Julie Bindel’s latest rant on how horrible the trans-people are, or rather, the mutilation and distortion of gender that they portray; as well as how loud and threatening they are.  I can’t feel sorry for her. At all. She has been advocating many a important issues, but not understanding that her stance on transgendered people is so insensitive and out of touch is deserving of the award ‘Nutter of the week’.

Moving on to something completley else; the fact that we know nothing or very little about HPV (human papilloma virus). Poundcake explains it very clearly and it is indeed important to keep updated about all of these things. I want to stay healthy and do regular check-ups about every half year. It feels like a  total overhaul, like beeing a car that goes in on service. And even though I am careful it is always nervous doing the three-minute HIV test.

Tomorrow, at Trafalgar Square there will be a candle light vigil for Ian Baynham, who died after an attack in the end of september.
There will also be a march against homophobia in Liverpool, sometime in the end of November, following after recent homophobic attacks.


And a very hardhitting blog-entry on how the case is still not won in regards to LGBTQI-rights can be found here.


A kickstart to the week with this amazing spoken word performance.