The other day I wrote in my not so anonymous blog about disrespecting women (it bugs me I can’t just link to the stuff, but wouldn’t be too anonymous here then, now would it?), and I’m gonna go wild here on teh internetz and quote myself from a post about … friends … being misogynistic.
[…] My … friend … called and we talked a bit about the allowance our culture makes for misogyny, and without having read my blog (I don’t even think he has the adresse here) he casually drops into the convo that it was just a phace, by the way. I’ve stopped feeling like that. So how to handle that? I was prepared at first to go for the thank god- never mind it all then approach. But I’m not much for forgiving things like that. Not if it doesn’t come with a big does of self analyzing and thinking. You can’t just think it’s suddenly ok because you stopped noticably feeling like that right now; because it might come back. If I tended to constantly fall over while walking outside, and then suddenly stopped for let’s say, five days, I would (hopefully) not just brush it off with it was just a phace, I walk much better now. I’d still check why I keep falling over. […]
For quite a while he had been going on about how he distrusts women, how women are horrible sneaky manipulative bastards and so on (sometimes I felt like just shoving my vagina to the phone to remind him that I, the other half of the conversation, is female.), at the same time as claiming to be feminist. And being negative to misogyny. Hello bullshit.
This is a bit like all those lovely natural doms out there who believes in equality, and of course women should be allowed to work and vote and own property, ‘s just that my woman is fragile and can’t handle all that, so I’m disallowing it, for her sake, in my home. .. And then I’m gonna call what I do BDSM and call myself lifestyler. Instead of just admitting that I don’t like the idea of women having rights.
I am completely and utterly sure that a lot of men that claims to be doing BDSM-stuff is just using it as a cover up because they despice women, or look at women as less worthy humans. It’s somewhere around when you say of course women should have equal rights as men that I start thinking about the oncoming “,but… “.
Here are some examples with pedagogical explanations:
“Of course women should have equal rights as men,
…..but Ilike my women to be in pain when I fuck them”
There is no oxymoron here. People can be absolutly 100% equal, and still be in pain. There is no “but” necessary to carry this sentence. You know why? Because the “but” here, it sort of makes me think that the pain involved is non-consensual.
…..but in my house, I want to be the man”
Oh, ok, so being a man and accepting equal rights is not possible? Interesting.
…..but she is much better then I am on keeping track of things.”
Ok, that one wasn’t even related to BDSM, but it sneaked in there. God damn it, get a calendar! Learn how to clean! How hard could it be?
….but she likes it better when I make the decitions.”
Same thing here, seriously, that doesn’t make it unequal, since she is allowing you to make the decitions. Don’t forget that power is not something you take, but something you are given. Just switch the but and put in an and instead, and it all feels much better.
.. Ok, maybe it’s not at all like that. But hey, it’s early morning and I’m annoyed, everything is related then.