Anoya, godess of things that get stuck

The other day I wrote in my not so anonymous blog about disrespecting women (it bugs me I can’t just link to the stuff, but wouldn’t be too anonymous here then, now would it?), and I’m gonna go wild here on teh internetz and quote myself from a post about … friends … being misogynistic.

[…] My … friend … called and we talked a bit about the allowance our culture makes for misogyny, and without having read my blog (I don’t even think he has the adresse here) he casually drops into the convo that it was just a phace, by the way. I’ve stopped feeling like that. So how to handle that? I was prepared at first to  go for the thank god- never mind it all then approach. But I’m not much for forgiving things like that. Not if it doesn’t come with a big does of self analyzing and thinking. You can’t just think it’s suddenly ok because you stopped noticably feeling like that right now; because it might come back. If I tended to constantly fall over while walking outside, and then suddenly stopped for let’s say, five days, I would (hopefully) not just brush it off with it was just a phace, I walk much better now. I’d still check why I keep falling over.  […]

For quite a while he had been going on about how he distrusts women, how women are horrible sneaky manipulative bastards and so on (sometimes I felt like just shoving my vagina to the phone to remind him that I, the other half of the conversation, is female.), at the same time as claiming to be feminist. And being negative to misogyny. Hello bullshit.

This is a bit like all those lovely natural doms out there who believes in equality, and of course women should be allowed to work and vote and own property, ‘s just that my woman is fragile and can’t handle all that, so I’m disallowing it, for her sake, in my home. .. And then I’m gonna call what I do BDSM and call myself lifestyler. Instead of just admitting that I don’t like the idea of women having rights.

I am completely and utterly sure that a lot of men that claims to be doing BDSM-stuff is just using it as a cover up because they despice women, or look at women as less worthy humans. It’s somewhere around when you say of course women should have equal rights as men that I start thinking about the oncoming “,but… “.

Here are some examples with pedagogical explanations:
“Of course women should have equal rights as men,

…..but Ilike my women to be in pain when I fuck them”

There is no oxymoron here. People can be absolutly 100% equal, and still be in pain. There is no “but” necessary to carry this sentence. You know why? Because the “but” here, it sort of makes me think that the pain involved is non-consensual.

…..but in my house, I want to be the man”

Oh, ok, so being a man and accepting equal rights is not possible? Interesting.

…..but she is much better then I am on keeping track of things.”

Ok, that one wasn’t even related to BDSM, but it sneaked in there. God damn it, get a calendar! Learn how to clean! How hard could it be?

….but she likes it better when I make the decitions.”

Same thing here, seriously, that doesn’t make it unequal, since she is allowing you to make the decitions. Don’t forget that power is not something you take, but something you are given. Just switch the but and put in an and instead, and it all feels much better.

.. Ok, maybe it’s not at all like that. But hey, it’s early morning and I’m annoyed, everything is related then.

//Silia

The female Oh-gasm

Hi, I know, Sorry, haven’t written for a while. I sort of started another blog that isn’t as secret as this one and sort of started writing there instead. Mostly about religion.

But right now I’m listening to a documentary about the female orgasm, and I felt like making a short contribution.

It’s interesting, because even if we are sort of equal now, and even though everybody knows that the female orgasm exists, people still seem to think that the female orgasm is harder to achieve than the male. This isn’t true. At all. It takes about four minutes for a female to reach orgasm when DIYing, it’s the same amount of time it takes for a male. What makes the female orgasm harder to reach, more elusive and all that BS, is that we have constructed our sex around the male perspective. The focus is still on vaginal penetration, one of the hardest ways to reach orgasm, if not assisted by clitoral stimulation (bar blow jobs, but you know what I mean.).

I know I’m one of those who have a really hard time to reach orgasm during sex with another person. Autoerotically, I get annoyed if I only get one, and usually get three. Yes, I do multiples on my own. But with another person involved, I can’t. This has nothing to do with inability physically. It’s all in my brain. It’s probably about techniques, but the mind is in the way for even getting that far. I know everything about everything that is to know about sex, but I cannot relax. Not that far. No. This is seriously sad.

I know one reason for this: I seldom take my time to actually get horny before I have sex. I have a hard time taking control over my own sexlife, I don’t want to be the driving force. This combined with all these heaps of men who actually don’t care about your orgasm, especially not if they have theirs first. I did have some great sex last weekend, with a guy who took the time to kiss me enough to make my knees weak. That worked. I didn’t orgasm, but I was closer then usual. I think that this guy might make me relax enough to let me actually explore, get horny, and have that damn orgasm.

I admire and envy all you who just orgasm away just like that, who can be that confident. I can’t. But give me a couple of years and I’ll join you. 🙂

I’ll be back in a week, I need to rant about the hymen myth aswell.

epic fail lesbianism

This one goes out to the danish guy who threatened me to show the blog to people if I don’t write something. Yes yes, I know him in real life. You know, the world out there.

Much have happened since I actually wrote something here, and that is off course also the reason that I haven’t written for a while. First thing that happened is that I have now officially decided to flee the BDSM-scene. Why? Because there are just too many arrogant wankers around. I can’t stand it anymore. I admit it: I’d rather have half assed vanilla sex with someone who asks if it hurts when I moan, then I ever have sex with any of the men I’ve talked to inside the bdsm-scene. (99.8% because of said wankyness, and 0.2% because we are friends and it would feel weird. This paranteses is a disclaimer)

There is off course nothing wrong about being an utter disgrace for the human race and act like a complete fucktard. Not at all. There is plenty of other people who are fucktards too, but please hang out with your own crowd? Know your limits.

I’m stupid enough to think that if someone is hitting on me, they think they actually have a chanse and they have based this assumtion on some sort of understandings of social structures, human to human interaction and so on. So I generally give people a chanse. Big mistake in the bdsm-world. I mean, yes I have been approached by people who is way under my level when it comes to looks, but I assumed that if you were ugly and approached someone who looked better then you it was because you knew you had a winning personality. But it doesn’t work like that in cat’o’nine-world, nooo. Here people approach you solemnly based on sucidial desperation. I can see it in their minds: “OOh, lookit female, she wants to trample me/drink my urine/be whipped till she cries, I can see it on her, I mean she IS in the same room/city/continent as me, and we all know what that means *gner gner*”.

The best ones are the dominant males who sends you e-mails telling you that something in your presentation isn’t grammatically correct. And then getting angry with you because you answer back at them. Yes, it happened the other day and it was the last drop. Theres idiots in vanilla land too, but they are so much more easily avoided.

My latest project now has been to sleep with a guy from the caribs (west india),  his idea of gender roles are so old school that to me, it’s almost D/s role play. I think that this might be the lovely middle rode for me. Sleep with strange people instead of BDSM, and I still get my dose of sexual weirdness.

Oh yes, the trylesbianism. It didn’t work, at all. I’m sorry to say it, but I can’t have a relationship with someone who dislikes heterosexuals. Or thinks bisexuals have it easy. I am officially fail at hanging out with lesbians. Or at least that type of lesbian. This isn’t the first time I hear this either. And it bugs me.
Just because you are an oppressed minority, that doesn’t give you the right to oppresse another minority now does it.
So I gave up, and went on to converting one of Ves friends from straight to bi instead. That was fun. I think it works better for me to just have relationships or such with other bisexuals.

So, not that much ranting, just a normal little blog-thingie. But at least, we are back:D.

PUA? Come on people..

Silia:

Today has been one of those nostalgia travels through the Internet, and I ended up reading tips and tricks from the seduction base, one the site that shows men on how to pick up girls, you know, The Game style. PUA:s.

Frankly, I have quite a lot to say about this community, I’m gonna give you a bit of a taste:

1. If you never get laid, you were not meant to get laid.

2. If you would stop looking at women like trofées , your lifes would be so much more fun, AND you would get more sex.

3. Don’t go for the tens, only reason they have sex with you is because they are blind and desperate, they wouldn’t poke you with a stick if they had brains bigger then a caterpillars. Incidentally, the girls you hit on don’t have that. But of course, if you like fucking larvae, go ahead.

4. I’ve had people trying this techniques on me. They have never worked. I’m not a ten, but the reason for them not working, is the guys trying them not even being a six. And trust me, if that neg is going to get you any pussy, you better be a damn ten and a half.

Lesson in life: The neg works on girls with the ego of a world power, the brain of a caterpillar and the looks of a playboy model (which, incidentally, is quite not-sexy, in my eyes.). It does not work on someone who is generally out of your league, or a ten in comparison to everyone else in the room. She’ll just think that you’re a wanker with an out of proportion ego. If she is like me, she will very likely fix this issue for you, by telling you so in various multi-syllable words that you will have to write down on a note and bring home for mom to translate.

So, to make a long story short, I hate The Game. It makes damn stupid and annoying men think that they can hit on me. I’m not a ten, and I do not have the brains of a caterpillar. Please, get out of my sight.

Also, the combination of the caterpillar brain and abfab looks is important. Why? Because no woman with half a brain and such astonishing features would even visit the same country as you.

Please, please keep in mind. If you do not get laid without using PUA-tricks, then maybe, just maybe you weren’t meant to reproduce.

Yes, that about defines exactly how horrible I am.
The abfab hot girl that I’m dating a bit at the moment pointed out that it’s easy for me to say this, since I’m as close to a PUA as you can get without being a complete wanker. (She didn’t say that, she just said that “The reason you think so is because you do get laid, think of all the people who doesn’t, maybe they are really nice people”, and I tried, I tried so bad, not to respond “Well, if they were so nice, how come nobody wants them? Are you promoting sleeping with ugly stupid people with crap personalities, just because underneath all that, there is a heart of gold? I have better things to do on Saturday nights then take pity on people” because that would have just proved that I am a total wanker. So I just said something like “oh, you might have a point, but still, you know.. “)

Example of what I find stupid and poor about the whole thing (Who, I wonder, WHO needs this instructions?):
Tadaa

I know I’m supposed to be loving and fun and so on, but I’m sorry, it’s just not me. Ve writes about that in the last post (no, i’m damn well not interlinking them, scroll down people, I know you can), and it’s nice that she can be happy about it. I can’t seem to ignore the fact that the idiots are everywhere. One bad egg ruins blah blah, and so on. Well, you can always think about us like some sort of ying and yang. If it wasn’t for the fact that I think that all that “eastern wisdom” is complete crap. Yeah, you figured that already didn’t you. If hell ever freezes over, I promise I’ll try yoga. Until then I’ll stick to cigarettes and alcohol thank you.

Intro-fucking-duction

Silia:
We figured we should introduce you to this blog by writing a discussion about, well, everything. Ve and I talked about doing a blog since we are so abfab and have so much to say (she didn’t really put it that way, but close enough).

I’ll just start by introducing myself: I’m 25, sizzling hot and blond. Also I have a brain. This seems to be thought of as a fairly unusuall combination, but being swedish I know that I’m not the only one (Ve is a good example of another sizzling hot brainy girl even though she doesn’t live in Sweden). I’m a feminist, quite queer and also usually desperate enough to sleep with anything that moves, and if it doesn’t I poke it ’till it does.. No, seriously, a big part of my feminism is about sexuality and my right to my body, my right to not see my body as something holy, but more of a playground. It’s mine, and I do whatever I like with it thank you very much.  Things that makes me want to go rampage with a gun is men that assume that just because I do like sex, I’d like to have it with them. The answer is No. Everytime. No, I’ll say it again. No.
I’m a writer, a poet and a lost cause. I’m sexually submissive (sometimes), but I have an issue with the dresscode of the bdsm world. I’m the enfant terrible of basically everything, and I love every minute of my tirades.

Ve:

Silia, partner in crime, sourze of both inspiration, headscratching and laughter, and as close to me as a sister. From the first time we met she has taken her responsibility to deprave me as much as possible but also fuelled many a heated discussions. I can’t remember a single time where we haven’t talked about something that revolves around sexual politics, relationships, feminism and the nasty acts themselves. And now, we will bring out that on the internet, you lucky bastards!
Silia prepared me well, if anything could’ve prepared me for what was waiting in capital of The Stiff Upper Lip (London that is). There, it all escalated.

Coming out on the fetish scene, meeting fellow pervs, dancing a lot, playing and coming hard (oh yes, I love used-up clichès) and during the days work in the best sexshop in the whole world sparked the fire
that was already lit.
22 y.o and stubborn as hell.

I am also one of those who calls themselves a poet and other labels that I might pick from the bowl to label myself with is queer feminist, relationship anarchist, switch and whatever floats my boat that day.

Yesh, Silia, it feels like I could agree with most of the things you already written, but still, am quite sure that you and I will write from completely different angles.
Let’s start this show!

Silia:
Yeah, thing is, even though we do agree on a lot of things, we have one huge thing that differs us. You enjoy the bdsm-scene, I cry tears of blood just thinking of it. It’s like admitting a disease: I can’t stand red and black together and have a really really hard time seeing the point of Latex, leather of pvc. You see? It’s impossible. I finally find the type of depraved sex I want, and then: They all dress like some sort of half goths from the 90’s!

Ve:

Oh, forgot to mention: Silia is the better one on sarcasm, irony and general bashing. Itry too keep up, not there yet. Love her for it, but fact is, I do l look awesome in my red and black latexdress!
In other words, I got my kinks, that involve corsets, rubber aswell as the whole idea about power exchange, surrounding bondage, sadomasochism, submission and dominance.

Back to the subject. I think I was lucky, was coming from a smaller swedish town and then going to London. There’s a world inbetween, and the world is spelled diversity and openness. And better opportunities to dress in what can only be described as Very Hot Clothes That Makes My Heart Pound and lower regions overflow.
I would probably don’t be where I am now if I stayed in Sweden.  I am all for change, diversity and open minds and that’s why you, dear reader, will hopefully join on both of our journeys, where mine will maybe be more about all the wonderfully nasty things  that wonderfully people do to me or I do to them.

So, favourite slut of all time, when are you coming to London and start humping the beautiful people? I can find someone without latexgear…

Silia:
When the beautiful people of UK starts developing a gene that allows them to have a chin.. Nah, I believe you Ve on the fact that people dress better overthere, i do at least dearly hope so because I just can’t take one more overweight man in leather trousers with a tendency to call me whore and think I’ll melt into a puddle of submission just by him being. Not being infact anything, just being.
There’s another thing that differ us quite clearly, Ve loves it, lives it and enjoys almost every minute of it (I just assume that even she has bad days, superwoman has to have bad hair days aswell, ey?), for her it is well, a way of living. For me it’s just a rather annoying part of my personality. If I could, i’d chop that part right off and feed it to the dogs (my neighbour has a rottweiler, she can have it). Sometimes I admit that I wish I was more like her in this aspect, but I don’t seem to have it in me. Instead I go complete happy happy joy joy when I dance instead. A fairly more socially acceptable hobby. “So what do you do in your spare time?” “I ask people to spank my ass and call me charlie” vs “I go dancing”. Ha, who wins? (She is still the one having the most fun I think, and definitly her clitoris has.)

That not saying my clitoris is ignored and locked into a cupboard somewhere. (Ve comments: It certainly isn’t.. and raises an eyebrow) It gets out and about from time to time, we go for walkies now and then.. The truth is, I’m a goddamn slut. I am, and I am also goddamn proud of it. So many of my friends feel anxiety after a crappy shag, all I feel is “ah, what the hell, i’ll make it up with someone else tonight”. I’m glad that I mysteriously escaped the whole business of being ashamed of my somewhat strong sexuality.  I’m a relationship anarchist, and most of the time I keep about three sexual relationships going paralell, plus whatever sex that happens when I’m drunk. I’m also in about 2-4 emotional relationships in paralell, sexual or non sexual. Yes, my schedule is pretty packed. But it’s fun and it works for me, which in the end is the only thing that matters.

As Ve said, she will probably be the one delivering the pr0n, while i´ll be ranting about the natural doms that are spread over sweden like some damn plauge of locusts… It’s not because she’s getting more of the sexy stuff, it’s just that i’m so just to getting it (i’m not serious ok? Thats a joke, laugh now.). I’ll probably write about sexual experiences to, but my approach will probably be more problem based. See it as a form of intellectual pr0n. One thing I promise I will write about though is when I try messy the first time, because i’ll be such a happy little gal after that, that nothing can stop me:D.

But Ve, I know you have The Wanky Men ™ in La Londre, but are you really completely free from the natural doms? In that case, I’m already packing my bags..

Ve:

Oh, I wish. There is The Wanky Men™ and something else. The Dribbling Wet Subs. I am not talking about the dribbling that can come from really hot play session nor about Wet, I am talking about men who honestly think every dominant woman, or domme, is having an urge to play with them. It’s the whole thing over and over again, womens sexuality is still not seen as her own. La Londre is not free from this, certainly not, and therefor I will not only provide the pr0n, but also do my best to make sure to feed you with the flaming political rants aswell.  I am a huge fan of sex ed, safe sex and sexpositive attitudes and spaces and not afraid not express that. Happily I will try to give as much as I can, listen to you readers about your experiences and point out other awesome texts on internet, cause it’s a win-win situation.

(Silia:
Yeah, sorry, i forgot: I too want to read about our readers experiences, it’s just that my image doesn’t really allow that sort of positive outbursts in terms of two way communication, I’m more of a monologue-ish person… 😉 )

With more facts and knowledge and access to that, the more power you have in your own life, in whatever kind of situations you end up in and whatever kind of choices you wan’t to make.
+ it could not be better; the perversities and politics from both Sweden AND U.K delieveried by two sizzling hot (can’t repeat that to many times) blondes that just want more. And more. And more.

Ready world?
Here we are!

Silia and Ve